Sorry, I forgot to post last week! Here lies the account of the most recent date I have been on, and, at least for now, it's the last one I have for you; since this date, I've barely even messaged with guys online, which doesn't give me very much to go on for this blog. If anything new happens, I'll be sure to add new posts...but at this point, they certainly won't be weekly!
Anyway...
"Mr. Bingley" gets major points for moving quickly from messages to an actual date. We had only been "matched" on a Wednesday, and we went on a date on that same Friday. Another point for the CMB app for their icebreaker questions to get conversations started. We definitely hit it off via messaging.
We decided to go bowling, which was quite honestly a fantastic change from coffee or dinner. We ironically both showed up wearing jeans and black shirts. I had walked in a little before him, so I was standing there and waiting for him for a couple of minutes. He saw me waiting, and opened both arms for a bear hug as he walked up. This was the moment I realized that he was a Bingley. Not that it meant he was ruled out as being "my Darcy," but it was an interesting realization, nonetheless. He was very much like a puppy dog, actually. I got the oncoming bear hug over with and then tried to put a nice little space bubble between us, but he kept (politely) closing it while we made small talk for a few minutes. Again, very much like a puppy dog--nothing intimidating, just getting a little on the annoying side (don't get me wrong, I'm sure many people would be totally fine with it; it's just not my style). Finally, we went over to get our bowling shoes.
When we got to our lane, Bingley sat down closer to the lane to change his shoes, and I sat down one seat over. From a merely logical standpoint, a little elbow room is helpful while putting on shoes...but apparently he didn't see it that way, so he moved over into the seat between us (insert eye roll emoji here).
[Just in case anyone hasn't figured it out yet, physical touch isn't exactly at the top of my love languages (it's only barely above receiving gifts, which I think only got 1 point when I took the Love Language Test). I'm a big fan of my personal bubble. I can handle being a little touchy AFTER I've built a relationship with someone, but it takes me a little while for that to happen. That just might be a helpful anecdote for the rest of this story.]
Anyway, minus the lack of personal bubble, we were having a pretty decent time already--he was super chatty, which meant I could just answer things and not have to put forth a whole lot of effort. We found our bowling balls (he was shocked that I knew what weight I normally use), I got our screen set up with our names (we just went with our actual, boring names instead of being clever), and we got started on game #1.
I STARTED OFF THE GAME WITH TWO STRIKES. Y'all, I've never done that a day in my life. Clearly, the ability to be competitive on a first date brings out hidden skills...I scored a 123 in that first game, and he barely broke 100.
We played a second game. He kept trying to "show" me how to get gutter balls, so I would lose. At one point, he even did the whole "reach around" move to tell me to use a different bowling ball. Can you *be* any more obvious? I mean, I guess a little flirtation is a good sign, but I really wasn't giving him any signs that I was feeling the same way...at least, not that I know of. The only possibly-flirtatious thing I was doing was smack talking...and it was entirely justified, because I won the second game with only a 90-something. Don't worry, he wasn't letting me win on purpose. I think his confidence was just totally shattered by that first game.
So we started game #3. I started off with a strike again...oops (LOL). At this point, I knew he needed a win, but I wasn't about to throw the whole game on purpose--I'm far too competitive for that. I did, however, throw a couple of gutter balls here and there, just to help him out...one of which somehow bounced off the end to knock down a pin! I still managed to win that game by 2 or 3 points...guess that 1 random pin mattered :)
After his horrible defeat, "Mr. Bingley" asked if I would like to get dinner. Since he wasn't from the area, we settled on getting BBQ at the place that was basically across the street, so I didn't have to try to explain where to go. We had pretty good discussions while we ate. He and I both (ironically, again?) have had 2 previous relationships, and all of our respective exes are now married. He made the joke that he must be like a prep person before his exes got married, since they each married the next men they dated. So I guess that means we were both "prep people"? Maybe that similarity was just too much...like, the polarities were too close, and repelled each other (at least, on my end). [insert David Tennant's version of Doctor Who, insisting on reversing the polarity... Don't worry, some people will get that reference; if that's not you, you're out of luck if you live in America, since they took Doctor Who off of Netflix. Sorry for nerding out on y'all...on to the rest of the story!]
Anyway, after we had both commiserated about our exes (which everyone tells you not to do on a date, but I guess Bingley never got that memo, since he brought it up), I guess he felt like we were meant to be together or something. He straight up asked me if I felt like my heart was ready for dating again. I told him I didn't really know if I could know that without trying it...maybe that's where I went wrong. I guess he thought that was his cue to decide we were dating? On the way out of the restaurant, I stayed back a second to give him the opportunity to open the door for me (see, Perfectly Polished really DOES have a lasting effect on your kids!!) instead of just walking out on my own...but he took it the wrong way. He also stayed back, then went for my hand when we started to leave.
It took me COMPLETELY off guard.
I jerked my hand away, and I actually let out some kind of noise that gave the impression of "EWWW!" (I didn't actually say that, but that was definitely the unintended implication)
He quickly exited the restaurant, mumbling "oh, sorry" over his shoulder. I caught the door and followed him out, and apologized. I told him I was just weird about stuff like that, and that I have to be *really* comfortable with someone before that happens. He said he guessed that could be a good thing.
Then we awkwardly walked to our respective cars, with at least 10 feet between us, and said our goodbyes. I told him thank you for bowling and dinner, and he said he hoped the Bulldogs lost the next day in their game (Homecoming, against Vandy...while it was a pretty terrible game, at least we won). He got in his car and drove back to Clemson.
And we never talked again after that. I considered texting him again to apologize once more, but honestly, we had only known each other for about 2.5 hours before he went for my hand. That was WAY too fast for me, and I've asked other people too, and probably 85% of them agreed with me. I'm all about being a hopeless romantic, but moving too fast in real life is a different story.
He really was a nice guy though, so I earnestly hope that Bingley will find his Jane soon.
