Sometimes, in this online dating world-of-weird, it's easy to feel like you're the only one with strange stories to tell. But good news! You. Are. Not. Alone. And to prove it (to myself?), here is an anonymous guest post from a wonderful friend of mine :)
Happy to share these stories for the laughs, the eye rolls, and the sheer amazement. ;)
1. The 46 yr old teenager:
Scenario one: "Matched" with a guy (he is 46, and I am 42 - these details matter in this story). He has pictures posted that are decent, clean cut, fun, and even one with him praying with another man. (Normally I cringe a little at those, thinking they are going to be "holier than thou"). Benefit of the doubt won over because of his excellent writing, and the details in his profile bio.
So we exchanged a line or two, and he asked if it was too forward to ask to speak on the phone. Honestly, I was impressed. He had met, maybe even surpassed, my expectations in a whirlwind.
He called, and we talked about 3 minutes when...
"ohh, hang on just one sec.......ha ha, that's funny, ok I'm back...oh hang on, my buddy is texting me." (Insert loud laughter) "Wow, so this buddy has some crazy drama...hold on, oh he's calling me. Hey _____, can I call you right back?"
Ummmmm...why?
He did call back, and soon I was questioning his age (no offense to 22 year olds), and the fact that his leading a Bible study and mentoring somehow was done by this same individual who just described how that once he is "impaired" at the local bar, that these "cute little things" were just so fun and flirty and that's how he now has 2 exes and 5 children (27, 25, 23, 22, 13). (He even has grandkids, but he just loves making babies). Yep...had fun ending that conversation.
2. He wanted me to be treated "like a daughter of God" - his words.
Conversation began with him quoting scripture for EVERY answer. Sweet though, and finally had actual conversation.
And then came my favorite phone conversation...
He stated that he really just needed to "hire a girl to come clean", or find him a "good, sweet lil' girl like [me]." (If you know me, feel free to laugh right there! HA!!) I said, "you maybe should consider hiring someone to clean."
(Please brace yourself).
His next response had possibilities hanging in the balance...
The path he chose:
"I don't mind hard work, ya know outside. But all this, well you know, I mean it's just not 'for a man' to vacuum and clean light fixtures, wash dishes and clothes, and all."
I LAUGHED SO HARD OUT LOUD, and actually said "Are you KIDDING me?!?
He chuckled and said, "no really I mean it's just not a manly thing to clean house."
Pretty sure I said bye before hanging up...though I can't be positive.
My sweet lil' self just can't remember.
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