Here it is...the first tell-all of a meet-up. I don't even like to call them "dates" when I can help it. Dates are supposed to be fun...you shouldn't be worried that the person you're going out with isn't the person he seems to be on his profile, or be worried that he's a high-functioning sociopath (Sherlock shoutout there).
Anyway, the very first time I went to meet anyone from a dating app, we met up at Hendershots. Hendershots is a little bar/cafe that's not quite in downtown Athens...a little dark for meeting a new person, but the atmosphere there is a little louder (and therefore slightly less awkward) than a normal coffee shop. This guy looked a little like Neil Patrick Harris in his photos, so I figured I wouldn't have too difficult of a time remembering what he looked like. We managed to find one another, and sat down for coffee...but only after I went for a handshake, and he went for a one-armed *front* hug.
Now, any good Christian school student or alumnus will easily be able to explain the concept of a "Christian side hug." Those at least kind of make sense, and for people like me, who don't really like hugs anyway, those are pretty doable. But a one-armed *front* hug (even from "NPH") is WAY more awkward--take my word for it.
Once we were sitting down with our coffees, we had a very pleasant conversation. I made sure to go in with a time limit, because I was planning to meet up with a friend to see a movie or something just over an hour after this whole "date" thing was supposed to happen. That helped me relax a little, knowing people were expecting me to be somewhere at a certain time, and would come to rescue me if they needed to (they knew where I was, and when I got there). So for about an hour, we had good discussions. But when we started talking about church, he got all weird and intimidated when I said something to the effect of "I never had a rebellious, anti-church phase" (full disclosure, this one was almost 3 years ago, so some details are less-than-fresh in my memory, but it was definitely relevant to our conversation).
His reaction to my statement made me almost regret that I had always just stuck with following the Lord. Now, I really don't regret that; I really count myself as pretty blessed that I never wanted to leave the church--I've heard plenty of stories from other people that give them plenty of reasons to want to walk away. But with his reaction, I felt like I was almost being punished, because he felt like I was a "better Christian" than him, and he seemed to suddenly find himself much less interested in me. I never heard from him again after that night, in spite of the good conversations we had.
Out of the other "dates" I've been on from dating apps, he was 1 of 2 that I would've been willing to go out with a second time.
So how would Elizabeth Bennett have dealt with that? She would've just moved on with her life, which is what I did. She knew who she was. I know, more than anything else, that I belong to Jesus. Any guy I date, or maybe one day marry, absolutely MUST value his relationship with the Lord above everything else, because I try to do the same, and I wouldn't ever want to become an idol in his life by a man trying to make me more important than Jesus. This is unfortunately not something that's ever really evident in a profile--it's something you have to witness.
Obviously, "NPH" wasn't meant for me, and that's fine. The experience allowed me to be *slightly* less nervous for the next meet-up with someone else, and it taught me to try to be a little more understanding when people talk about their struggles with the church.
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