So Maybe I'm a Grammar Nazi...

Before I begin this post, please keep in mind that in a blog, or other informal venues of creative writing, sentence fragments are often used for effect.  Now that I have clarified my own misuse of grammar, allow me to gripe about the grammar issues I've run into on profiles or while messaging people :)

No one (except my grandmother) has flip phones anymore, so there's absolutely NO reason for people to not type out words like "you."  It just doesn't take that much extra time.  If you are on an online dating app, and we are chatting, then you are not a teenager (unless you are *seriously* cat-fishing me), and you *definitely* are not using said app ON A FLIP PHONE. Also, smart phones have this fancy little feature called autocorrect. Yes, I know, autocorrect is sometimes more trouble than it’s worth, but fair warning—when you type ACTUAL WORDS, it [usually] won’t correct those for you, even if you really ended up typing a different word than you intended (for example, “their,” “there,” etc). At some point in your education, you should’ve learned the difference in those words. They are spelled differently for a reason—because THEY. HAVE. DIFFERENT. MEANINGS.


PROOFREAD YOUR PROFILE BEFORE PUBLISHING!  I am, in fact, aware that profiles are by no means formal writing.  However, you are trying to present the best version of yourself.  Would it be so terribly difficult to read over your profile one time before deciding it's your final product?  I mean, most guys don't write very much in their profiles anyway.  Here's a lovely (and lengthy) example from one of my recent matches:

While ambition, having a sharp whit, a great smile, a full head of hair, and a cool car will get you a lot in life, almost to the top.  It won't get you everything...the gift of friendship and true love are greater than the sum of all material things.  Pretentious, trivial, petty, spiteful, greedy, egocentric, hateful, deceitful, belittling, untrustworthy, dishonest are adjectives for which do not describe my character.  Understanding, kind, warm, steady, dependable, caring, supportive, selfless, honest, loyal, listens intently, heartfelt, thoughtful, and respectful: describe the quality of my character.

This is verbatim (including the punctuation), and only 1 paragraph that this guy wrote in his "summary" on his profile.  It's not like the message he was trying to convey was wrong, but it does get sort of lost in the fragments.  All he really needed to do was proofread...but again, this requires some effort [insert Millennial rant again].

Maybe you should also proofread your messages...

Hey Alex.  So now that I've violated my own morals and joined an online dating site, I figured now would be a good time to try and woo you.  I promise nothing but pictures of tiffany diamonds and lots of e-roses.  Now down't get too excited, I mean I know your head over heals in-love with idea.  Theres the stent of my witty streak for the night.  So yea how do you end these things?  A simple, Hmu, Facebook style?  Nah we'll go with the classy, ttyl.  what ya upto?

Here's one more example, just for fun; this one is from a message I was sent: "Hello Alex...my name  is _____.  How long have you been ridding houses?"

Apparently, I’m asking too much. #reasonsimsingle