Ice Cream with Fezzik

This is the one where you find out just how shallow I really am.  This guy was actually very nice, we had great conversations via the dating app, he was very straightforward with asking me out, he was willing to work with my crazy schedule, we both enjoyed traveling, and he seemed to really care about his faith (not enough to have found a church yet in the 6 months he had been in Athens, but this is where I'm supposed to try to show grace, right?)...but he was SO.  BIG.  Like, Fezzik, big (but shorter, and without the crazy hair).

[For those of you who are sorely uneducated in the realm of 80s movies, Fezzik is a very lovable character from the movie The Princess Bride.  Fezzik was big-hearted, kind, and an integral part of the plot, played by Andre the Giant...but, most people aren't going to find him physically attractive.  I certainly don't.]

LIKE I SAID, THIS IS WHERE YOU FIND OUT HOW SHALLOW I AM.  I promise, I don't like this about myself, and I don't think I was quite this shallow before my journey into the online dating world.  If Fezzik had an online dating profile, it would probably say things like "My friends tell me I have a great personality," or something to that effect (and probably something about enjoying bashing people's heads with rocks...but that's irrelevant).

Fake Fezzik gets lots of credit for how he cropped his profile pictures, because they were more flattering angles than what he looked like in person.  I mean, I don't feel like he had lied with his photos or anything, he had just been strategic...and aren't we all?

As I walked closer to Ben and Jerry's that Sunday afternoon, and saw a large person sitting at a table outside, I thought, "I hope that's not him.  I know it's mean, but I hope it's not.  It's probably him though."  And it was.  He was very nice, held the door open for me, bought my ice cream...and the whole time, I just felt like such a jerk, because I just knew this wasn't going to go any further after our ice cream date.

I think, had we met under different circumstances, we would've easily been friends.  Herein lies the biggest issue I have with online dating: in my experience, knowing that the whole reason you are meeting another person is to potentially (maybe, possibly, one day in the distant future) marry them, it really changes the dynamic of your first impressions.  You essentially forego the possibility of making a new friend for the hope of finding your soulmate.  Is the gamble worth it?  Maybe other people in the online dating world disagree with me here, and they think you can just flip a switch and make a friend instead of starting to date them.  Maybe I'm the only one who struggles to shift my mindset from potential mate to just a friend...or maybe the problem is that I don't have the time or energy to put into making a new friend with whom I wouldn't naturally cross paths--I mean, I hardly have the time to invest in my current friendships.

If we had maybe worked together, or met at church (you know, somewhere we would have naturally crossed paths), without the guise of being on a date, we would've become friends who hung out in groups.  And that would've been fine, and maybe, possibly, might have turned into something more.  But when I was expecting a football player build (based on his photos), and I showed up and met...well, someone bigger than a football player...I just kept envisioning future dates, and I didn't like it.  We didn't even shake hands when we parted ways.

Like Elizabeth, sometimes I have to admit that I could've handled things better.  I don't really know how, because I'm not good at controlling my facial expression...BUT I REALLY HOPE NONE OF MY THOUGHTS SHOWED ON MY FACE.  I'm sure they did, those sneaky thoughts.  This is why I'm better on paper.  Then, I can think through what I actually want to convey.  This is why letters are good...even so, I suppose meetings must happen.

I justify my decision to tell him that I didn't want to pursue this any farther by telling myself (and apparently, you, if you're still reading this) that I live a very active lifestyle, and therefore I need someone who is physically able to be active.  I do think there is a lot of truth to that, but then I do have to remember that this guy seemed to have all the other things I wanted EXCEPT the physical stuff.  Maybe the whole package just doesn't exist?