Points for Originality, but Not for Creepiness

Yes, original introductory lines are important...but original and creepy or just plain weird are very different things.  There's also a difference between being a strong leader and being pushy.  Also, there's no need to get awkwardly personal in a first message...save that stuff for later.

One dating app in particular actually helps make introductory messages a little less awkward, and WAY less boring, by having its users enter icebreakers when they register.  For example, mine is "I've stood on a corner in Winslow, Arizona"...and then when we connect, it prompts the guy to ask me about that.  I know they're *really* worth chatting with if they quote other Eagles lyrics in response--but even the most boring starters based on that icebreaker are along the lines of "So why were you standing on a corner?"  That question at least encourages a whole lot more conversation that "Hey.”

One of the guys I was matched with recently used a pretty solid dad joke. His icebreaker was “how much does a polar bear weigh?” When I asked, because my curiosity was piqued, he answered, “enough to break the ice.”

Anyway, here are some rather comical, occasionally Collins-esque, introductory messages that I've received over the years, on various apps.


"Hi Alex it's my birthday today, write me back so we can chat and enjoy some cake today!"


"Hey sweetie..." (He kept going, but what's the point after that?  Calling someone "sweetie" might be fine after you have some sort of a relationship going, but, even in the south, it's not ok to call someone at the very beginning...and "darlin" is pushing the envelope.)


"Mmmm freckles" (NOPE.)


"Hello, how are you?  Happy Fourth of July you are so pretty, its not a compliment, its a fact would you like to chat?" (this one could also go in my post about grammar...but also, don't try to be bossy in an introductory message--that doesn't make for the most effective pick-up line in the world)


Here's a personal favorite...this guy messaged me first, then commented on a photo of me shooting a handgun.  The message was included in my grammar post (this one clearly could've been in that one too).  The photo comment:

btw AR, When I first saw you, you gave the vibe of a high maintenance girl.  Most men will be intimidated by ur looks and they will think a you are a drama queen, this and that.  But u r the opposite, I can tell with one single piece - your minimalist bracelet :-.the most intimate personal thing toned down.  That would never come across with your appearance.  You might actually be someone can give her meal to friends and go to bed hungry.  You can tell me if I am wrong?  Am I right or Am I right?  whattya upto?

I MEAN, REALLY, BRO?  Also, no idea who "AR" is, so that's awkward...


And finally, when you've never met and hardly spoken to a person, asking how they slept, saying good morning as soon as you wake up, saying goodnight/sleep well...IT ALL COMES OFF AS CREEPY.