Best Dating App?

Over the last 3 years, I have used almost every available dating app, I guess subconciously hoping that different algorithms might find some different options for me. On almost every single one, I’ve ended up being matched with most of the same guys...and several times, I’ve been matched with guys that I already know. That can be super awkward, by the way—especially if there has never been any sort of interest (in real life) from either side.

Dating apps that I’ve used, and my opinions of each of them:

• eHarmony (expensive, but better filtering and better conversations...but I've never gone on a date from this one)
• Coffee Meets Bagel (free, appealing layout, and it uses friends of friends on Facebook)
• Match (affordable, so lots of people are on it, which widens the "playing field")
• Christian Mingle (also affordable, but I think this is where the creepers go to prey on Christian girls)
• Bumble (free, but the girl has to initiate conversation...which I don't do; I tried it for a little bit, and I even started a couple of conversations, but I didn't like it)
• CrossPaths (free; one of my friends in another state met someone on this app, so I got it...and no one in my area is on it)
• Clover (free, and lots of people in my area were on it, but you can't filter very much at all, so I was *constantly* getting notifications, and I deleted the app because I got annoyed--with the app, more-so than the people on it)
• Hinge (the new big thing; free, unless you want to be able to get fancy with your filters; interesting new take on a profile layout, but I haven't had many successful conversations on it yet...I don't love it so far)

My personal favorite dating app is Coffee Meets Bagel.  While Match has actually gotten me more dates, the format of CMB, and the fact that it uses icebreakers, makes conversations much easier to get started.  Also, I appreciate that people can't communicate with each other before both individuals hit "like".

About a month ago, I made a survey about dating apps, that some of y'all probably took (anonymously, of course).  Below are the questions I asked, along with the results, which honestly surprised me a little.  I had a total of 11 people take the survey, but one of those 11 said they had never tried online dating, but the other 10 had.

1. Have you ever used a dating app before?

Yes: 10

No: 1

2. What dating app is overall your favorite? (1 skipped this question)

eHarmony: 1

Match: 0

Christian Mingle: 1

Coffee Meets Bagel: 1

Hinge: 0

Clover: 0

Cross Paths: 0

Bumble: 1

Tinder: 3

OK Cupid: 1

Plenty of Fish: 1

Farmers Only: 0

Other: 1

3. Which dating app has led to the best conversations? (1 skipped this question)

eHarmony: 1

Match: 1

Christian Mingle: 1

Coffee Meets Bagel: 1

Hinge: 1

Clover: 0

Cross Paths:0

Bumble: 1

Tinder: 2

OK Cupid: 1

Plenty of Fish: 1

Farmers Only: 0

Other: 0

4. Which dating app has led to the most dates? (1 skipped this question)

eHarmony: 0

Match: 0

Christian Mingle: 1

Coffee Meets Bagel: 1

Hinge: 0

Clover: 0

Cross Paths: 0

Bumble: 1

Tinder: 3

OK Cupid: 1

Plenty of Fish: 1

Farmers Only: 0

Other: 2

5. If you are married, did you meet your spouse through an online dating app? (2 skipped this question)

Yes: 3

No: 6

6. On which dating app have you found the best selection of people? (2 skipped this question)

eHarmony: 2

Match: 0

Christian Mingle: 1

Coffee Meets Bagel: 1

Hinge: 1

Clover: 0

Cross Paths: 0

Bumble: 1

Tinder: 1

OK Cupid: 1

Plenty of Fish: 0

Farmers Only: 0

Other: 1

7. On which dating app have you found the most creepers? (1 skipped this question)

eHarmony: 1

Match: 2

Christian Mingle: 1

Coffee Meets Bagel: 0

Hinge: 0

Clover: 0

Cross Paths: 0

Bumble: 1

Tinder: 4

OK Cupid: 0

Plenty of Fish: 0

Farmers Only: 0

Other: 1

So, what is the best dating app?  Well, according to my survey, Tinder would be the overall best dating app, which honestly surprised me.  Maybe it's because of sheer volume?  But Tinder also had the most creepers (again, sheer volume), so I guess it depends on how many more creepers you want to wade through in order to find the potentially good conversations and dates.

The Singleness Saga -- GUEST POST!

Sometimes, in this online dating world-of-weird, it's easy to feel like you're the only one with strange stories to tell.  But good news!  You. Are. Not. Alone.  And to prove it (to myself?), here is an anonymous guest post from a wonderful friend of mine :)

Happy to share these stories for the laughs, the eye rolls, and the sheer amazement. ;)

1. The 46 yr old teenager:

Scenario one: "Matched" with a guy (he is 46, and I am 42 - these details matter in this story). He has pictures posted that are decent, clean cut, fun, and even one with him praying with another man. (Normally I cringe a little at those, thinking they are going to be "holier than thou"). Benefit of the doubt won over because of his excellent writing, and the details in his profile bio.

So we exchanged a line or two, and he asked if it was too forward to ask to speak on the phone. Honestly, I was impressed. He had met, maybe even surpassed, my expectations in a whirlwind. 

He called, and we talked about 3 minutes when...

"ohh, hang on just one sec.......ha ha, that's funny, ok I'm back...oh hang on, my buddy is texting me." (Insert loud laughter) "Wow, so this buddy has some crazy drama...hold on, oh he's calling me. Hey _____, can I call you right back?"

Ummmmm...why? 

He did call back, and soon I was questioning his age (no offense to 22 year olds), and the fact that his leading a Bible study and mentoring somehow was done by this same individual who just described how that once he is "impaired" at the local bar, that these "cute little things" were just so fun and flirty and that's how he now has 2 exes and 5 children (27, 25, 23, 22, 13). (He even has grandkids, but he just loves making babies). Yep...had fun ending that conversation. 

2. He wanted me to be treated "like a daughter of God" - his words.

Conversation began with him quoting scripture for EVERY answer. Sweet though, and finally had actual conversation. 

And then came my favorite phone conversation...

He stated that he really just needed to "hire a girl to come clean", or find him a "good, sweet lil' girl like [me]." (If you know me, feel free to laugh right there! HA!!) I said, "you maybe should consider hiring someone to clean."

(Please brace yourself).

His next response had possibilities hanging in the balance...

The path he chose:

"I don't mind hard work, ya know outside. But all this, well you know, I mean it's just not 'for a man' to vacuum and clean light fixtures, wash dishes and clothes, and all."

I LAUGHED SO HARD OUT LOUD, and actually said "Are you KIDDING me?!? 

 He chuckled and said, "no really I mean it's just not a manly thing to clean house."

Pretty sure I said bye before hanging up...though I can't be positive. 

My sweet lil' self just can't remember.

What I’m Actually Looking For

One of my faithful readers asked me a little while ago to write a post about what I'm actually looking for in a date/possible future husband.  Ever since I was in the youth group at church (so, starting in 7th grade), our youth pastor always encouraged us to make a list of qualities we would want in a future spouse.  That list took shape over the course of my time in youth group, and I may have edited it while I was in college at some point, but I think the basics are about the same as the very first "wish list" I ever made.  My most recent list is at the end of this post.  The 2 paragraphs below aren't *exactly* related to my list, but the things I discuss in those paragraphs have certainly played integral parts in my list updates.

I read (and discussed in class) I Kissed Dating Goodbye (written by Joshua Harris) as a senior in high school, and as a freshman in college, I did a Song of Solomon Bible study with my church's college ministry.  While I think there were a whole lot of good, valuable things that I learned from both studies, I also think they both worked together in my brain to convince me that "every date is a potential mate"...which I think was a quote I also used to hear in my youth group.  Now, that's not to say that it isn't true--it is.  I think the intention behind both I Kissed Dating Goodbye and the quote that I still remember from youth group was to discourage the habit of serial dating.  However, I think it backfired.  It seemed that I Kissed Dating Goodbye almost single-handedly led my entire generation (at least in Christian circles) to put WAY. TOO. MUCH. PRESSURE. on any one, single date.  Beginning at that point in time, anyone who read Joshua Harris' book of sound advice and good intentions, and took that book to heart as a general rule, began to consider each first date as in interview for an engagement.

While our whole generation "said goodbye" to dating, that caused several people to (seemingly) go straight from friends to being engaged (no judgment, these people are some of my favorite married couples).  As for the rest of us, we were scared away from dating during the college years.  And after the college years, when you live in a college town, where are you supposed to find someone to date-and-maybe-one-day-marry (you know, since in my mind, they are inseparable)...Bars?  Church?  Work?  And when none of those work for you?  Enter online dating.  The lists below have been influenced by everything I've experienced...now including over 3 years of trying to find my soulmate on the internet (I mean, you can find everything else there, right?).

Related question, which I've yet to find the answer to: how can my generation of perpetually single Christian women, who are trying to figure out how to find "the one," break our minds free of the whole "every date is a potential mate" mentality...and should even we try?

MY MUST HAVE LIST:
1. Loves God/Jesus more than he loves me.  I believe that, in order to have a God-honoring relationship with each other, we must each prioritize our own relationships with the Lord, first and foremost.  This has been modeled for me by my parents, and I couldn't be more grateful to them for that.
2. Active in the church they attend, in some respect.  According to the Bible, fellowship with other believers is essential to Christian growth, which means that just going to church every now and then doesn't really cut it.
3. A strong leader.  Knowing my own personality, I know that I have a difficult time respecting men who won't lead.  In my mind, this applies to every aspect of the dating world, beginning with initial communication.  If I am the one who begins the conversation online, I think I would just continue on as the leader in the relationship (you know, assuming a relationship actually started).  This also coincides with leading by example in his relationship with God.  I don't really think I want kids, but I do want to know that I will be led properly.  (yes, I know everyone is human and makes mistakes, so I'm not saying he has to be absolutely perfect in his leadership all the time; just most of the time would be good) 
4. A servant's heart.  No, I don't believe that good leaders are bossy.  Yes, I do believe that good, strong, faithful leaders also have the heart of a servant.  Why?  Because they should be modeling their lives after Jesus...the greatest servant-leader of all time.
5. Taller than me.  Again, this plays into the fact that I want to be able to respect my (potential) husband.  As strong as women try to be today, we do still also like to feel safe and protected.  For me, height plays a big part in that.  Therefore, in the online dating world, I pass on anyone under 6' tall.
6. Weighs more than me, but in a healthy, muscular way.  As I discussed in my "Ice Cream with Fezzik" post, I have a very active lifestyle.  Also, as discussed in my "Froyo with a Former Youth Pastor" post, I have a hard time respecting people who seem "too scrawny."  I want someone to be able to share in my active lifestyle with me.  I'm not asking for 6-pack abs (not that I would be too upset about that), but someone who seems healthy is important to me.
7. Someone I find attractive.  This one is brand new, and wholly inspired by my online dating experiences.  I honestly never used to think initial attraction was important to me, but I'm finding that I was wrong.  I think that, because of my incapacity for hiding my thoughts, initial attraction, at least on some level, is going to be necessary...which feels shallow to even write.  Who knows, maybe that will change again.
8. Someone smarter than me, but who also has common sense.  I think this one has also been mostly inspired by online dating, after having read so many badly-written profiles and messages.  This would also play into respect for me.
9. Is a dog person.  I don't care if he actually has dogs (although not gonna lie, if he does, it shouldn't be a small, fluffy dog, because they don't really count), but I'm just really NOT a cat person, and I always think it's weird when men own cats.

MY PREFERENCE LIST:
1. Loves to travel, but is also grounded.  Traveling gives you perspective, and is my favorite way to rejuvenate when I'm worn out by regular life.  BUT I also really love coming home to my dogs now.  The last part of that is kind of new for me...I always used to be sad when it was time to come home from, well, anywhere that wasn't home.
2. Plays guitar or piano (but preferably guitar).  This one has been on my list ever since middle school...I think I've just always really liked the sound of a guitar.  Ok, I would probably be ok with a drummer too...maybe.
[This list used to be longer, but I think some of these have moved up to my "must-have" list, unfortunately.]

Ice Cream with Fezzik

This is the one where you find out just how shallow I really am.  This guy was actually very nice, we had great conversations via the dating app, he was very straightforward with asking me out, he was willing to work with my crazy schedule, we both enjoyed traveling, and he seemed to really care about his faith (not enough to have found a church yet in the 6 months he had been in Athens, but this is where I'm supposed to try to show grace, right?)...but he was SO.  BIG.  Like, Fezzik, big (but shorter, and without the crazy hair).

[For those of you who are sorely uneducated in the realm of 80s movies, Fezzik is a very lovable character from the movie The Princess Bride.  Fezzik was big-hearted, kind, and an integral part of the plot, played by Andre the Giant...but, most people aren't going to find him physically attractive.  I certainly don't.]

LIKE I SAID, THIS IS WHERE YOU FIND OUT HOW SHALLOW I AM.  I promise, I don't like this about myself, and I don't think I was quite this shallow before my journey into the online dating world.  If Fezzik had an online dating profile, it would probably say things like "My friends tell me I have a great personality," or something to that effect (and probably something about enjoying bashing people's heads with rocks...but that's irrelevant).

Fake Fezzik gets lots of credit for how he cropped his profile pictures, because they were more flattering angles than what he looked like in person.  I mean, I don't feel like he had lied with his photos or anything, he had just been strategic...and aren't we all?

As I walked closer to Ben and Jerry's that Sunday afternoon, and saw a large person sitting at a table outside, I thought, "I hope that's not him.  I know it's mean, but I hope it's not.  It's probably him though."  And it was.  He was very nice, held the door open for me, bought my ice cream...and the whole time, I just felt like such a jerk, because I just knew this wasn't going to go any further after our ice cream date.

I think, had we met under different circumstances, we would've easily been friends.  Herein lies the biggest issue I have with online dating: in my experience, knowing that the whole reason you are meeting another person is to potentially (maybe, possibly, one day in the distant future) marry them, it really changes the dynamic of your first impressions.  You essentially forego the possibility of making a new friend for the hope of finding your soulmate.  Is the gamble worth it?  Maybe other people in the online dating world disagree with me here, and they think you can just flip a switch and make a friend instead of starting to date them.  Maybe I'm the only one who struggles to shift my mindset from potential mate to just a friend...or maybe the problem is that I don't have the time or energy to put into making a new friend with whom I wouldn't naturally cross paths--I mean, I hardly have the time to invest in my current friendships.

If we had maybe worked together, or met at church (you know, somewhere we would have naturally crossed paths), without the guise of being on a date, we would've become friends who hung out in groups.  And that would've been fine, and maybe, possibly, might have turned into something more.  But when I was expecting a football player build (based on his photos), and I showed up and met...well, someone bigger than a football player...I just kept envisioning future dates, and I didn't like it.  We didn't even shake hands when we parted ways.

Like Elizabeth, sometimes I have to admit that I could've handled things better.  I don't really know how, because I'm not good at controlling my facial expression...BUT I REALLY HOPE NONE OF MY THOUGHTS SHOWED ON MY FACE.  I'm sure they did, those sneaky thoughts.  This is why I'm better on paper.  Then, I can think through what I actually want to convey.  This is why letters are good...even so, I suppose meetings must happen.

I justify my decision to tell him that I didn't want to pursue this any farther by telling myself (and apparently, you, if you're still reading this) that I live a very active lifestyle, and therefore I need someone who is physically able to be active.  I do think there is a lot of truth to that, but then I do have to remember that this guy seemed to have all the other things I wanted EXCEPT the physical stuff.  Maybe the whole package just doesn't exist?

Chowing Down with Mr. Collins

Some of you have heard this story.

Some of you might have been at least somewhat involved in this story.

And some of you are in for some serious entertainment (and maybe a couple of what the heck?! moments).

I started chatting with a guy who, in most pictures, seemed fairly attractive. Then, in a couple of the pictures, he looked like a totally different person. I wasn’t entirely concerned about that...I mean, some people look drastically different from one year to the next. There was definitely something weird, but I couldn’t put my finger on it.

After a few days of texting, "Mr. Collins" asked if we could get dinner. Again, I had a horse show that next weekend (is anyone else seeing a pattern here?), so I knew I wouldn’t be available for anything on the weekend.  My only "free night" that week was Wednesday, which also happens to be my late day teaching at the barn.  Collins said Wednesday night was fine, even though it would be an 8:00 dinner, and he said he had to wake up early for work the next day.  Point being, he agreed on the time.

[SIDE NOTE:] Any time I have agreed to go out with anyone from a dating app, I always try to look up more information on them...you know, to make sure I'm not being catfished or something (for those of you who are unfamiliar with that term, it basically means that someone online is pretending to be a different person than they actually are).  This particular guy had given me enough personal information to dig up everything online about him.
But there was a problem.
There was NOTHING about this guy online.  No Facebook, no white pages, no LinkedIn, no Instagram, no Reddit, no Google (I even tried a Google image search).  I mean, maybe he had some kind of Bing presence...but let's be real, no one *actually* uses Bing...so it was entirely possible that this guy wasn't real.  Don't worry, though, I used my resources--this time, the human kind. 

(1) I have a friend who works in real estate.  The guy had told me where he supposedly owned land, so I asked her to try to look it up.  Turns out, the land was actually in the name of who we assumed was his father...so at least it was the same last name?  Not a huge deal if his dad had originally purchased the land and then given it to him, right? 

(2) I have another friend who works in law enforcement (actually, I have a few of those).  He had someone run a background check for me.  All the information I had been given checked out, but didn't reveal anything extra. 

(3) My dad called the place he said he worked, and asked for him, only to hang up before he came to the phone.  So at least we knew someone with this name and information existed.

(4) I know someone who works at the restaurant we were going to, so I told him I was going there for a date with a seemingly-questionable guy, and asked him to make sure the people working would "keep an eye out" for me. 

Even though we had proven that this person existed (or at least, some version of this person), it's still SUPER WEIRD that his only online presence was his dating profile.

[END SIDE NOTE]

That Wednesday night came, and my last lesson ran a little late.  By the time I got changed, I knew I would be a few minutes late, so I messaged "Mr. Collins" to let him know that.  He replied that he had arrived about 15 minutes early, "accidentally"?, but that he would be sitting at the bar of the agreed upon restaurant.  I walked into the restaurant FOUR MINUTES late.  Everyone who was sitting at the bar alone already had food, so I had to try to figure out who he might be, based on the backs of people's heads.  Fortunately(?), I guessed correctly (but part of me wonders what might have happened if I had guessed a different person).

I walked toward him, said his name as a question, and he turned his head and said hello.  Let me reiterate this:  he was sitting at a bar, back to the door, and therefore to me when I walked in, and he turned *his head*.  Oh, and he already had food.  Seeing any red flags yet?

Collins had both arms on the bar, on either side of his plate (which was an appetizer), and told me to order whatever I wanted, since he "tend[s] to bulk up in the winter, so this would be [his] dinner."  A little TMI, but whatever, at least I was getting free food?  So I ordered my burger, and he proceeded to finish his "meal" while I waited on my food.  We talked a little, but it's very awkward watching someone else eat while you wait on your own food, especially on a date.  The nice part about sitting at the bar during basketball season though, is that there was a basketball game on the TV behind the bar...at least I was slightly entertained by that.  My food finally came, right about the time he finished eating.  I tried not to rush through eating my burger, but of course, now it was his turn to awkwardly sit there while I ate.

As soon as I finished eating, he got the check and paid for dinner.  Then, Collins took his hand that was closest to me, put it on my back, and asked if I was ready to go.  BLEH.  Not that good of a date, bro...not even close.  I slid off of my bar stool, as far away from him as I could, and we walked out to our respective vehicles.  He said something along the lines of "This was fun.  Maybe we can do this again sometime," winked at me, then walked to his truck.

WHAT?!  Were you even on the same date as me?!  THE WHOLE DATE TOOK LESS THAN AN HOUR.  Like, I was in my car, driving home, before 9:00pm.  I wouldn't have been surprised if he had ended the date by straight up telling me that his "pleasing attentions" (aka, the wink) "arise chiefly from what is passing of the time.  And though I do sometimes amuse myself with arranging such little elegant compliments, I always wish to give them as unstudied an air as possible" (something Mr. Collins tells Elizabeth and Mr. Bennett in the newest version of the Pride and Prejudice movie).  That quote would've been right on par with the rest of that evening.

The next day, he texted me a couple of times...about the weather.  I mean, can you get more Collins-esque than that?

So, I officially found a Mr. Collins.  Anyone seen a Darcy wandering around, looking for his Elizabeth?

[PS]
As weird as this guy seemed before the date, one of my amazing friends drove basically an hour (total) out of her way that night to make sure everything looked ok.  YOU'RE THE BEST!

Froyo with the Former Youth Pastor

This date was probably number 4 or 5?  The ones between Ag Guy and this one were not memorable enough for a post--one happened over Barberitos, another happened over coffee (that guy was JUST. SO. BORING.)--but I couldn't tell you anything we discussed or anything remarkable that happened.

So the Former Youth Pastor and I had been chatting for a couple of days via one of the apps, when he asked if I would like to get dinner that weekend.  As per usual, I had a horse show that weekend, but it was only a Saturday show.  I told him I should be done with my horse show in time for dinner Saturday, or that we could just do something on Sunday after church.  He chose Saturday, I guess since he lived about an hour away from me, which would've made doing something between morning church and evening church on a Sunday a bit difficult.

Saturday came.  It was June.  I had been at a horse show all day.  I had a pretty solid sunburn on any of my skin that had been exposed while at the show, I was most likely a little dehydrated, and I was exhausted.  But, this guy was driving an hour to take me out...I at least owed him the courtesy of showing up, right?  (Don't worry, I even showered and put on a little tiny bit of half-hearted makeup.)

I texted him when I got home from the show, and asked if he would mind if we just got frozen yogurt instead of real food.  I promised him that I am not "one of those girls" who doesn't like real food...because, if you know me at all, you know how much I really do love food.  The thought of eating a real meal after being that hot all day was just *not* going to entice me to actually go on this date.  He was already on his way, but he agreed to froyo.

Turns out it's probably a good thing we went with froyo, since he showed up in some slightly tattered jeans, a backward baseball cap, and some kind of rock band t-shirt...I think our original plan had been sushi, for which he would've been a little underdressed.  Now, it's not that I have any objection to that look, but it has to have its place; a first date (especially had we gone to get real dinner) is not that place.  He was tall, had a long-ish (but fairly neat) beard, and seemed more frail than he had looked in his profile pictures...and I was instantly un-attracted to him (yay, shallow me again!)

Once we got our froyo, we sat and talked for a little over 2 hours.  We had some great discussions about working with youth groups, going to youth camps, etc.  He also talked about how he *had been* the youth pastor at his church for a little while, but was done now; I think it was kind of an interim thing.  But I couldn't seem to get over how frail he looked.  Then he finally said, as part of some story he told, that he had been "sick" for a long time (like, at least a year), and was just now getting back to doing more normal things.  He never told me exactly what he was sick with, but it seemed to have had a little bit of a lasting effect on him.

When we finally left, he said that he had a good time, and that maybe we could do this again.

I hesitated, and he heard all he needed to hear in that beat of silence.

[If you don't know me at all, it would be helpful for you to know that my face betrays my every. single. thought.  Also, I cannot lie to save my life.  The frustrating part is that I feel like I'm lying if I leave something out, or don't fully answer a question.]

So, needless to say, my reaction told him I really wasn't interested in anything after that evening.  In my brain, I was tossing around the idea of maybe doing a second date--I mean, we had good conversations, the time flew by, he seemed really nice...but that brief hesitation told him to go home and not look back.  I really may have enjoyed a second date, but I don't know that it would've gone any farther than that, since I found him so unattractive initially.  He certainly gets points for reading my reaction that quickly; some men just aren't that attuned to other people to figure out subtle things like body language--more on that in a future post!

Sometimes, I guess you just have to go with your gut?

Points for Originality, but Not for Creepiness

Yes, original introductory lines are important...but original and creepy or just plain weird are very different things.  There's also a difference between being a strong leader and being pushy.  Also, there's no need to get awkwardly personal in a first message...save that stuff for later.

One dating app in particular actually helps make introductory messages a little less awkward, and WAY less boring, by having its users enter icebreakers when they register.  For example, mine is "I've stood on a corner in Winslow, Arizona"...and then when we connect, it prompts the guy to ask me about that.  I know they're *really* worth chatting with if they quote other Eagles lyrics in response--but even the most boring starters based on that icebreaker are along the lines of "So why were you standing on a corner?"  That question at least encourages a whole lot more conversation that "Hey.”

One of the guys I was matched with recently used a pretty solid dad joke. His icebreaker was “how much does a polar bear weigh?” When I asked, because my curiosity was piqued, he answered, “enough to break the ice.”

Anyway, here are some rather comical, occasionally Collins-esque, introductory messages that I've received over the years, on various apps.


"Hi Alex it's my birthday today, write me back so we can chat and enjoy some cake today!"


"Hey sweetie..." (He kept going, but what's the point after that?  Calling someone "sweetie" might be fine after you have some sort of a relationship going, but, even in the south, it's not ok to call someone at the very beginning...and "darlin" is pushing the envelope.)


"Mmmm freckles" (NOPE.)


"Hello, how are you?  Happy Fourth of July you are so pretty, its not a compliment, its a fact would you like to chat?" (this one could also go in my post about grammar...but also, don't try to be bossy in an introductory message--that doesn't make for the most effective pick-up line in the world)


Here's a personal favorite...this guy messaged me first, then commented on a photo of me shooting a handgun.  The message was included in my grammar post (this one clearly could've been in that one too).  The photo comment:

btw AR, When I first saw you, you gave the vibe of a high maintenance girl.  Most men will be intimidated by ur looks and they will think a you are a drama queen, this and that.  But u r the opposite, I can tell with one single piece - your minimalist bracelet :-.the most intimate personal thing toned down.  That would never come across with your appearance.  You might actually be someone can give her meal to friends and go to bed hungry.  You can tell me if I am wrong?  Am I right or Am I right?  whattya upto?

I MEAN, REALLY, BRO?  Also, no idea who "AR" is, so that's awkward...


And finally, when you've never met and hardly spoken to a person, asking how they slept, saying good morning as soon as you wake up, saying goodnight/sleep well...IT ALL COMES OFF AS CREEPY.